Off-Beat

Off-Beat -- If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 2 Apr 2007 04:40:00 GMT

Now you see, not many podcasts out there would force a person to show off their poop on webcam. It was completely uncalled for, but it happened, we apologize to the people who witnessed it first hand. We ran through a ton of stuff on the show this week, tons of Starstruck news, blasted through a ton of advice on Dear FTR and watched a mating video designed for pandas. Yeah it was an odd show, but one you shouldn't miss because we got a listener to play with her vibrator on the air.
Forums, go there:
www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Voicemail, call us:
(206)666-6325
Laterz,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Dead celebrity pinata.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 04:12:00 GMT

Hey,
We discuss the world's first ever recorded sex doll and it's television debut, god it's creepy soo much so Mallrat wants to cuddle his blanket, fucking fag! We talk about Bra's 50th B-day party, ok he's only 33, and how we attempted to mkae his evening awkward, and we deal with a slew of metally challenged kids that joined the feed. All in all I want to hit a dead Lindsay Lohan with a bat.
Forums:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Phone:
(206)666-6325
Now go away!
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- It's all David Hasselhoff's fault!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 05:36:00 GMT

This week brings a revelation to the cast of Off-Beat,
Global warming is David Hasselhoff's fault, we aren't sure why but it just is. On the show this week we get nerdy and discuss comic books, how brilliant Germany is because of the unwanted baby box, oh you'll hear it, and we bring back the top 5.
Anywho, go to our forums and be a prick:
www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Or call us, we die a little inside when we don't get voicemails:
206-666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- It's not cheating if...

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 4 Mar 2007 22:36:00 GMT

Hey folks,
Shit like this only happens to me I think, so here it is, we are doing a live show and boom out goes the internet. Gotta love it, sometimes I feel like god pisses down on me for some of the nasty things said on this show, if I were God I would be a vengeful God as well I guess so I should expect it. Anyway on the show we discuss the morality of cheating, a bitch so fat she didn't realize she was pregnant until the baby fell outta her and we dish out some advice to an escort. It's pretty much what you've come to love about us.
Forums, join em:
www.fortherecord.ws
Live show, listen to it:
Now every Saturday 11pm(ish) EST.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Just like a mini mall.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 07:38:00 GMT

Hey,
We recorded yet another live show. The Militia gets pretty ripped and discusses gay rappers, killer's living next door, terrible commercials that are ten years behind and how to skip out on your taxes.
Forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Next live show:
Saturday March 3rd 11pm EST
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Quad clown pr0n!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:08:00 GMT

What's up a-holes,
On the menu Britney Spears insanity, crack whores at bowling alleys, a new type of porno, expensive ass Valentine's day cards and sooo much more. Next live show:
Saturday February 24th 11pm
Join our forums:
www.fortherecord.ws
Leave us a suggestion for bottle or box:
(206)666-6325
Laters,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- B.H.M.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 04:08:00 GMT

Hey folks,
We had the webcams fired up the live feed going and our first listener submitted Bottle or Box. This thing was so bad Mallrat gave up the big chair to Zim because he almost puked, it would have been great cause Mallrat can afford to shed a few pounds! We drank 40's, talked shit about people, and mourned the recently deceased. It's everything you've come to love about the show.
Next live show:
2/17 11pm est
Show info:
www.fortherecord.ws
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- The Cartoon Hoax.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 4 Feb 2007 07:19:00 GMT

Hey, it's us again invading you Ipod or whatever you use to tune in.
We discuss the ATHF issue and the retards that made it a big deal, people call in and then don't speak with us, we make fun of midgets and retards, not really a new thing for us and a balck fan emerges!
Until next week assbags,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- 5 cool points and a pickled octopus.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 08:46:00 GMT

Holy crap,

What a good time we had on this one, soo much stuff to go over, so much torturing of Zim and he loved every minute of it. Zim also gives out a big announcement that the fans are sure to eat up! We cover punching a nine month old, Hefâs response to Kelly Osborne wishing to be in Playboy and a rediculous televangelist We are doing a live show February 3rd check out our site for details:

Http://www.fortherecord.ws

while there why not join our forums.

Drop us a voicemail:

(206)666-6325

Until next week,

~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Pubic hair is the key.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 06:39:00 GMT

Hey,
Another week another show, we discuss a 29 year old posing as a 12 year old to get butt, pubic hair on CSI, retarded people trying to pee and the urinal cakes that love them. We also dub our first winner of our new segment Ugly myspacer of the week tournament. We revamped our site this week as well so why not go check it out:
www.fortherecord.ws
and while your there surf on over to the forums.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Fully kraeusened (yes it's a real word!)

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 08:03:00 GMT

Hey,
Yeah I'm talking to you! We actually learned something on this weeks show, that mess of letters in the title actually has a meaning much to our suprise! I'm sure you wanna find out what it means so tune in or we'll pull a tapeworm out ya ass! Anywho, we discuss many things because we have diahrea of the mouth as usual. Lindsay Lohan is dying and we celebrate, we mock ugly lesbians from myspace and try and dish out some advice to a loyal fan. All this and so much more for the amazing low price of.... FREE! So tune in and the check out our forums:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
And tune in live Saturday January 20th
11pm EST.
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Autographed ookie cookie.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Fri, 5 Jan 2007 07:22:00 GMT

Were bringing it back to the old school,
That's all I gots to say sucka mc's. There was so much stuff going on in this episode I can honestly say it was well worth the two weeks off and we hope you feel the same. We obviously discuss the Saddam hanging, we rip on some retarded celebrities which is nothing new to us and a cast member reveals something that is worthy of recording a whole extra episode, which we did. Check it out on the forums as it will not be released on the forums.
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Call our voicemail:
206-666-6325
Catch you next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Fergie says it's not small!

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 05:05:00 GMT

Sup evil doers?
In this episode we grab the mic and flip our tongues like a dike. We randomly spout out nonsense about Fergie, some dude from the Nether regio... Netherlands calls in, and we disuss lighting in movies for some dumb reason. It's an hour and a half worth of entertainment that's fit for monkeys.
Tune in live next week,
December 21st 11pm est.
www.fortherecord.ws/live.htm
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Join the insanity at our forums:
www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Dead deer sex!

Offbeat@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 07:25:00 GMT

Hola folks,
Interesting evening here folks, we discuss everything to the morality of screwing a dead dear, homeless people, bowling alley radio, sex accidents and sooo much more. If you wanna join in on the conversation head on over to the forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Or maybe join us live:
Thursday December 14th 11pm EST
Catch ya later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Bat shit crazy!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 3 Dec 2006 05:37:00 GMT

Word,
It's here, the live stuff, but now it's not live anymore, hence you can listen whenever. I don't know what I'm rambling about, anywho, we cover the Ultimate Warriors lunacy, discuss the ethnicity of moaning woman, and a seal set to kill off old people. Now that is my kind of animal! If anyone knows where I can purcahse one let me know there are some old people on my block that need to be taught a lesson, that lesson don't f' with Dead's seal!
Get to posting:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat -- The bad taste that stays with you!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 06:44:00 GMT

Hola,
All your Thanksgivings were consumed by us, at least we consumed some nasty ass limited edition Jones soda that even my crazy cat wouldn't go anywhere near. Speaking of crazy we also discuss Michael Richards' totally uncalled for out burst and nominate a douche bag of the month! Join us will you, it'll only hurt for a second.
Get to posting:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Join us:
November 30th live show 11pm est
goodbye,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- More balls than your honeymoon!

Offbeat@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 06:23:00 GMT

Hi,
We did a show, hooray! Anyway it's a short one because we were distracted by the awesomeness that is the Wii. We talk about gamers getting shot, O.J. publishing a book about how he got away with murder and a few other things.
Forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Wiki:
Http://offbeat.wetpiant.com
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Highway of stink!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 17:19:00 GMT

Hey folks,
Sorry it's a bit late, it's amazing what happens when your on a solid schedule and you can't get the show up on said normal time. Anywho here's the show. We discuss the death of music as we knew it, that meaning Kurt Cobain's existance, We talk celebrity's including Britney smartening up and so much more. Anyway thanks for being patient and waiting for the show. We will catch you guys next week!
Come discuss the show:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
See you next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- The wrong hole!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 4 Nov 2006 23:59:00 GMT

Hey friends,
It's a rolicking good time all rolled up into an mp3 file from us straight to you. We did a live show and had a wonder full turn out, it really means alot to us and we thank all of our great fans. Alright enough emo bullshit, onto the show. We cover everything from jacking off onto toys to Mallrat's game plan when he goes for insertion on his b-day. We also mocked many people via the phone line. All in all everyone had a great time and you should as well. Now get to joining our shiny new forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws
And while your at it why not drop us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325.
Next Live show this Thursday November 9th 11pm EST.
Until then,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Ignorance is a whore wearing Dolce and Gabbana

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 05:35:00 GMT

What up, what up?
Welcome to another week another show. We discuss a ton of stuff this week from tipping to sex to shaving Mallrat's head live on the air. We also dable a bit in Some celebrity based news and a ton of tech goodies. Anywho, it's pretty much what you've come to expect from us, so go enjoy.
http://www.fortherecord.ws
http://www.offbeatpodcast.com
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Next live show:
Thursday November 2nd
11pm EST
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Stouffer's 2 for 1 special.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 05:28:00 GMT

I pity the foo,
Who gets easily offended. If that's you, you may wanna skip this one. The Militia goes to an all time low on this show with a brand new game show, listens in on some good old American domestic violence and to top it off agrees with some woman's insane way of using freezer. For the first time ever, I am about to apologize for what you are about to hear, but that's what you love about the show.
Now stop being such a jackass and join our forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Go post some info about yourself on our wiki under the fans section:
http://www.offbeat.wetpaint.com
or leave us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Until we meet in a truck stop,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Caution, don't feed the woman!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 13:49:00 GMT

Hey folks,
We did another live show that caused some more debate about the Spider-man masterbating issue that won't go away. JBJ also chimes in again this week and gives you some more insight into how to keep your woman in check. We harvest phone calls, Mallrat put on about 5 poiunds because he was eating a bucket of fried foods and we get a visit from the last person you guys would ever expect to drop in. All in all it's another mediocre show from a bunch of guys with nothing better to do. But that's what you've come to love about us. Now stop reading this and go chat in the forums.
Forums,
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Drop us a voice comment,
(206)666-6325
and make sure to check out our live show schedule,
we will be live this Thursday October 19th:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/live.asp
for all the details.
Catch ya later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Bitch... don't make me shock you!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Fri, 6 Oct 2006 06:59:00 GMT

Howdy folks,
Interessting evening here, and guess what, we captured it all as an mp3 just for you! We discuss so much crap tonight it's bananas, oh god kill me for saying that. Anywho, we take phone calls, even though we weren't doing a live show, now that is fan support. We discuss drive through etiquette, how to keep your bitch in line via JBJ's 12 steps, and we take on some serious issues as well including gun control and keeping you child on a leash.
Feel like discussing this episode, join us in the forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Angry enough to wanna voice your opinion?
Call us on our voicemail line:
(206)666-6325
Until next week:
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Otomix pants for Chuck Norris.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 06:09:00 GMT

Howdy folks,
We dabble a bit in our second live show and it goes much smoother than the first one. We talk about pooping while facing each other, super cockaroaches, celbreities giving whores a dirty sanches and so much more than space we have to use here on this blog. So why not eat an apple while listening to our live but not so live show! Check out our forums over at www.fortherecord.ws for the schedule to our next live show and details on how to tune in.
http://www.offbeat.wetpaint.com Write some show notes if this wasn't enough.
Drop us a voicemail,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Technical difficulties.

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 00:09:00 GMT

What's up folks,
It's a day late but I guess late is better than nothing right. Here's the scoop:
we realize you all had troubles getting into the live feed and we appreciate you trying religiously. We had a hard time as the server we use was slammed so no more live shows on a Saturday. Any way here is the episode that aired last night, kinda. Thanks guys.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat - - @$$ Licker.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 06:56:00 GMT

What's up suckas,
It's like a marathon of good times this episode without all the running as most of us are fat and/or lazy. We discuss everything from eating out a chicks asshole to peeing on ten year olds at a NIN concert to taking a stingray barb to the heart. We would like to go on record as saying that is a pussy way to go. Any way enjoy this weeks show it's a fun one and we'll catch you on the flip side. If you want more show notes, well write them yourself over at http://offbeat.wetpaint.com.
Call us with comic questions,
(206)666-6325
Until we meet in your dreams,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Regulators.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 3 Sep 2006 05:40:00 GMT

What's up folks,
We got a restraining order from Zim and we read it on the air. Also included in this amazing package would be discussion of midget stippers, things Jesus had, Was not was, all things geeky as we re-take Geektopia back from Zim and so much more for 4 easy payments of..... well free and it's all courtesy of your friends here at Off-Beat.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Product placement.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 06:21:00 GMT

Hey suckas,
another week another show for your stank asses. We have some fun this week by singing some death metal, we put product advertisements in the show and then demand these companies pay us! There are also some PSA's thrown in for good measures. We talk about all kinds of random things including carpet chocolates cat's pissing on frozen pizzas and so much more than your feeble little mind can possible comprehend. It's also come to our realization that we believe Zim has quit, so for anyone that enjoyed his quality time spent entertaining you a-holes wish him well in the forums.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~Deadsqwirl X.x

F sweaty Betty!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 04:13:00 GMT

Heya,
It's here, yet another episode of Off-Beat folks. Johnny blue jeans sits in and tells us what comicon is, we cover some news, dub our douche bag of the month and discuss random things just like we always do.
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
Tune in next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Walking in on your parents.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 06:06:00 GMT

Hey folks,
Some house cleaning crap before the meat of this post, new site is up with some new features, www.fortherecord.ws. We cold call a fan a hillarity ensues. In the mix this week:
--Shocking your penis.
--Rocking zombies like a hurricane.
--Don't give Hillary money.
--Add stuff to our wiki, www.offbeat.wetpaint.com
--New listener email.
--A member of Mallrat's familydrunk? No!
--F you Nick Cage.
--Little miss sunshine.
--Stars looking for cheap and free publicity.
--Please god Nicole Kidman do it.
--Some Japanesse piss water.
--FTR talks etiquette.
Give us a call
(206)666-6325
Catch ya next week:
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- The Blaccent

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 6 Aug 2006 04:57:00 GMT

Well hello again kiddies, it's fun time yet again. We welcome Joe from the American Coalition against Corporate Greed to the show who is fighting the good cause against high gas prices. Also in the mix:
--Mel's agent speaks to us.
--She looked at least 18 and was dgging deep folks.
--Things you shouldn't say to an arressting officer.
--Hey guess what, our DB of the month is a tie in from the above.
--How to hit your head on a breath-a-lizer machine.
--Use a tin can with a rope on it instead of your cell phone.
--This beer belongs under a mattress just like a dead hooker.
--Hey, help these guys out with their cause it's a good one for once:
www.myspace.com/wewantcheapgas
--What the hell could you possibly do with a virtual porn star.
--Zim cleans house with points then goes home and dirties his keyboard.
--Zombies, Gangsters, Cease and desist orders and bad tech products.
--Black, White or Asian the home game.
Call us with your home game answere or your thoughts on high gas prices:
(206)666-6325
Thanks for checking us out guys, later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Someone blow the singer from Candlebox so they can disappear again.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 06:10:00 GMT

Hey folks,
here we are again, back with another fun filled episode of audio diahrea! We cover all the topics you need to hear about this week like dogs falling from the sky. In the mix:
--Zim's poor mom.
--So metal it will F your face!
--We talk about all kinds of shit on fire.
--Kevin Smith hits a homerun.
--Mallrat comes out of the closet.
--Ugh, seriously thank god it was free.
--Ummm listerine and beer do not mix well.
--So happy together....
Hey, call us will you:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Old enough to know better.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 23:12:00 GMT

What's up sucka's, interessting show as usual. Zim admit's some crap, Mallrat an I have phone sex, then vomiting ensues for quite sometime and Zim pretends he was at the World Cup this year for some dumb reason. In the mix:
--The Michael Bay movie repair kit.
--Zim likes yelling into the mic but also contributes something, yes he contributed something funny!
--Shiting adobe take 2.
--We need to patent this shit!
--Accepted gets accepted by FTR.
--West Hartford police are cock gobbling homos.
--Geektopia's premiere.
--Top 300 reasons not to...
--Hillary Cunton, I mean Clinton needs to go the way of the dinosaurs.
--Ash brings you the free yet again.
--Leave it to an Asian to burn down a school while cooking a dog, poor fido.
--A beer made from a river.
--An update from a few weeks ago and gag gifts galore.
--Have you ever shit yourself? One of us has!
--We need to get used to the new outro music.
--The New England Challenge.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Unlikely places to put "it!"

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 16 Jul 2006 06:53:00 GMT

Why does it feel like everytime Jay is here, I lose control of the show? I guess it's a good thing. Anywho, wanna learn what a BK stacker consists of? Well we answere your question. Also, if your to poor to purchase a sex toy, we teach you how to make your own on the cheap, and we build one in the studio. Jay claims the sex toy was asking for it, but we seem to disagree. In the mix:
--Fun with editing.
--Burger eating contest minus that cheating asian that can destroy hot dogs.
--Who will become the next taste tester for alpo.
--F-it then dump it in the trash, just like a real girl. (hey Ash said it, not me!)
--FTR's fan of the month.
--UFO fairs better then the Blueberry beer we drank last week.
--Greco Roman a-holes on a dare.
--A fair warning.
--Danger Will Robinson, system failure down below.
--we get way off track, we were supposed to do Starstruck, but we really just rag on George Lucas.
--Stay tuned after the show....if you dare.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- How to eat your own jizz.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 9 Jul 2006 04:58:00 GMT

It disturbed me to name the show that, but alas we had no choice. We cover a bunch of crap and read some stuff but nothing has ever disturbed me as much as the dudes post we read that eventually lead to the name of the show. In the mix:
--F you Sony Pictures.
--New theme song, whadda ya think?
--Some cool new kicks.
--Mallrat takes it in the face like a champ, again, we are gonna get him a rubber suit for the next fourth.
--Pirates kinda reviewed.
--The Prez gets our Top 5 dedicated to him.
--This doll is freaking disturbing.
--How many times can this dude drop the f bomb?
--The six worst ways to pass on.
--Zim shares some stalker stories, and some sand paper masterbation tales.
--Oh yeah, we reviewed a beer in this segment, somewhere between all the gross masterbation crap.
--Ftr internet action force presents World Beat.
--Zim still stalking.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat -- Just the three of us!

Dead — Sun, 2 Jul 2006 07:19:00 GMT

We can make it if we try, just the three of us, building castles in the sky. We were wickedly short staffed but it was a good thing. This is a fun one, ever wonder what it would be like to hump an animatronic pig? Well, Mallrat has and we discuss it. In the mix:
--The telethon, FTR style.
--The monkey chased Zim away, that's all it took?
--$3500 for what? Are you kidding me?
--Chim Chim wants to cum in your hair, because Zim won't.
--How the fuck does a fez hat stay on a shriner?
--A waste of 8 beans!
--Pirate porno a family friendly version!
--Porno for the mentally challenged.
--FTR's retard of the week.
--Well, we could consider this dude a retard too.
--Is it gay if some dude blows you while your sleeping and you cum without knowing?
--Iiiiiittt's back.
--A new segment that covers the Prey demo, a new way of buying a coke, and a Loco Roco review.
--A listener submission, and we get serious, kind of.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~Deadsqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- The repercussions of a penis in your mouth!

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 06:08:00 GMT

Wow, all I can say is wow.
I still cannot comprehend the events of this evening. If you listen to one of our shows, this should be the one. I will not give away any events here but this is what's in the mix:
--Backwoods Off-Beat.
--Do not let the television raise your children.
--What woman wants a cock slapped into their head?
--Jay starts making fun of everyone and everything, Dead losses control, and this is where we end the show notes.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Until next week, if we decide to try and recover after this hurricane of a show,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Friendship pies.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 05:13:00 GMT

Hola bitches,
Zim refuses bottle or box! Seriously, we have been wondering when he was gonna say he didn't wanna play! Ash sucks it up and takes the torture. In the mix:
--Ash's anti-truth.
--Mallrat's 1 day vacation, can you consider this a vacation?
--Dustin Diamond will soon be a hobo.
--Are you really gonna look cool playing the Wii? Probably not.
--Some bald dude playing Ghost Rider.
--Method Man a rip off artist? Ummm ok.
--Glam rocker, porn star or exotic fruit.
--If you didn't enjoy it, it's not a crime.
--Someone buy my vote will ya!
--Key lime friendship.
--Sex changes mean you can beat them right?
--Hadji Girl
Give us a call, let us know why we should keep Bottle or box,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- What?

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 05:43:00 GMT

Hola whores!
Sorry, I'm like an abusive author. But I will give you a show worthy of taking a crap on and hiding it under your mom's bed. We go over some topics that matter including: gay marriage, bad television and sooo much more. In the mix:
--Interview with Zim's dad.
--New Jack was the man.
--Who the hell would sleep with that guy.
--A "cheesy" tattoo, eh, eh, listen you'll get it!
--Uwe Boll defends his mess of a movie.
--A new segment, the female lounge.
--36 is > 18.
--Defend your product Snapple and Xerox.
--Militia at the movies.
--A true Off-Beat ending.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Too much Dick not enough Jane!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 4 Jun 2006 05:39:00 GMT

Holy crap we had a ton of people in the studio, if you can call it that. Cavs, Angry (racist) Pirate, Sumbody28, Rusty Trambone, and SumChick all help us deliver yet another retarded show. We cover all kinds of BS this show from Zim singing to a tattoo of a hand on your prick. In the mix:
--One year, and he's still the only one to speak up.
--Zim wants to tattoo Spidey's hand on his unit.
--Huge breasts of childhood friends.
--Addidas soccer jersey's.
--Dumb women hazing people.
--CRZA elaborates on his creepy mind powers.
--Steven Seagall thinks he is Eric Clapton, sadly he is not.
--Some douche should form an emo band.
--We attack Lost stars and washed up pop stars.
--Zim tries to defend his title.
Call us for god's sake.
(206)666-6325
Join the order:
Do it!
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Cock rock hallelujah!

Sun, 28 May 2006 16:11:00 GMT

Off-Beat love you long time this week. First off happy one year mother f'ers. Thank you all who have been tuning in especially our hardcore fans, you guys are great and you know who you are. It's an odd one, ok so all of them are. We talk women, Zim gets tortured and CRZA sings for your enjoyment. In the mix:
--Dead on edge.
--Some dumb word that means fashionable woman.
--FTR in the closet.
--10 hot women, that we disagree with.
--Hollywood is going downhill because of the actors.
--Mallrat wants to punch the dude that was behind him.
--If you buy her a drink, FUCKING TALK TO HER AFTERWARDS!
--Chocolate makes you smarter, way to go fat assess.
--Would you pick up a five dollar bill if it was coverd in poo?
--We share how we lost our virginity.
--CRZA rocks the Vedder!
Pick up the phone a-hole:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- More than a feeling!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 20 May 2006 05:44:00 GMT

Good times, good times. Zim misses a week and guess what happens, we torture him deal or no deal style!! It is one worth listening to just for the shrieks of agony. We do lots of old school stuff this week and Mallrat popped the button on his jeans after we recorded! In the mix:
--Ash9 Zombie hunter!
--Zim's next pussy ward hath arrived.
--Protestors abound over a work of fiction.
--A brilliant idea as we spill alot of shit.
--Hitler vs. the clowns.
--Zim... DEAL OR NO DEAL?
--Wow foreigners do some dumb stuff, but this one is talented.
--Listener pwns clear eyes.
--Don't fucking hold her hand if your married!
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Foreigner's don't say no.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 14 May 2006 07:57:00 GMT

Have you ever smelled a sweaty geek? No not Greek, geek. Well Ash9 has and he has a solution. Trust us he was at E3 and that is the epicenter for sweaty geeks. We are a little short staffed this week, but whateva, the show worked. In the mix:
--Zim's jury duty story that he didn't want you to hear.
--Oh god Shakira can't sing.
--F you for ruining this for me Angelina.
--Ash does the top 5... again.
--Terri Hatcher gets attacked by bees, The government F's with Cannes director and Dj goes to jail for talking smack.
--Horror movie or Japanesse porn.
Aight turds, give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- I'm so emo I'm gonna give myself some paper cuts then bathe in vinegar.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 7 May 2006 06:11:00 GMT

Hola bitches,
If your looking for the typical episode, well, your not gonna get it. We talk about some girl's ass, Omega13 prank calls some douche, a fat dude on a scooter, a toaster of glass, some fat beeotch's baby gets ragged on and we release the winner of the second annual Sebastian Bach-Off. If your looking to see what's in the mix, try harder, you may find them somewhere here.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later ho bags,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

45 -- Brandtson, Pearl Jam and Taking back Sunday.

45@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 6 May 2006 05:01:00 GMT

Hey all,
Here it is as promised the first episode of 45. Please give it a chance as it isn't all toilet humor like Off-Beat. On the menu:
--Tawney Kataen.
--Taking Back Sunday louder now reviewed.
--Mick Jagger's sitcom.
--Guest reviewer Jason from 12 train reviews Pearl Jam.
--May 9th's new releases.
--Brandtson's Hello control Reviewed.
Drop us a line:
(206)600-4526

Off-Beat -- The Musical

Thu, 4 May 2006 03:22:00 GMT

Hola,
Hey all, It saddens me to inform you that this will be the last Wednesday episode of Off-Beat. We are going back to our original schedule of Saturdays only. Before we do that though we have a musical for ya, we projectile vomit some news out to you and make Zim do something nasty.
Anyway thank you all for your support of the Wednesday shows, who knows, maybe they will return.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Bach and Roll!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 30 Apr 2006 07:58:00 GMT

It's rematch time folks. Not that any of you have had the chance to hear the original one as it was a private affair. Zim gave a stellar performance last year, can he repeat this year? In the mix:
--Hype!
--The bell be here and Bach is a rock god.
--The order of the albino testicle.
--Only half the wit of Letterman.
--Slapping thighs and five guessing guys.
--A rocker with a rep.
--Your 33 and you can't read or write?
--The pre-game warm ups.
--Mallrat gives it his best yelp.
--Zim was loved in Detroit and is equally loved here in CT.
Vote for your favorite vocalist, Zim or Mallrat!
Call in your vote:
(206)666-6325
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat -- Sinema

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 23:11:00 GMT

What's up theater goer's? We got your summer movie sneak preview here along with some spite. We cover everything from Snakes in a plane to Keanu Reeve's newest, even though they animated him, he still isn't an animated actor. I hate that guy. Anyway no show notes as the only segment we do is Starstruck, get your popcorn and your sno-caps and sit back and help us make fun of Snakes on a plane!
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Later,
DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Punky chips ahoy, oi vey!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 23 Apr 2006 08:13:00 GMT

Seriously, have you seen that commercial? We have and we are divided on our feelings of it, you may be suprised who actually enjoys that dretch! Obviously it's not me from this post! We cover a ton of news and ramble about random things also. In the mix:
--Ahnold is cumming!
--Bra is like an old house.
--A big greasy thug at the movies.
--Dr. Beer speaks out against Bush because he is the decider.
--WTF is up with advertisers now a days?
--Woman gives birth and doesn't even know, only in Waterbury.
--Man this fucking dude cries alot.
--A closing worthy of descent into hell!
Call us! (206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- F Comedy Central

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 02:51:00 GMT

What's up ho bags, Comedy Central is on a roll, censoring shit losing their cash cow called Chapelle, what's next, skull fucking your grandmother? Crap didn't mean to give them any ideas. In the mix:
--Anthony is a sauce slurper.
--Put your fricking clothes on foriegner.
--Cola and a coffee does not belnd very well, plus we reveal what your piss would look like.
--South Park censored... WTF!
--Chapelle speaks out against Comedy central.
--Village people cop made the news? Are you f'ing kidding me.
--A way to avoid skin cancer, don't say we never did anything for you.
--Her name is wiener, and we answer her questions including a query about candy and popularity.
--Masturbating more than once a day is un-healthy, sorry to disappoint fans.
Until Saturday, give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Happy Easter, you're going to hell!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 06:51:00 GMT

What's up a-holes, happy Easter, and if your reading this and listening to our show, your going to hell. This is the episode that will warrant us forever living in eternal flames. In the mix:
--Who's gonna ---- me?
--We dub the winner of our contest, wait until she sees cockzilla!
--WTF is a dick blot?
--Things not to do in Ohio.
--Bring back calling people a c**t.
--Welcome to drunken India air, I <3 Ganesh!
--If you live in South Africa make sure you molest your employees.
--A microwave in the face = good times.
--Our favorite ex!
--A Nintendo rap, a tampon bouqet, and something that just shouldn't have been done.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Catch ya on Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Dio @ Denny's

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:07:00 GMT

Ever wonder what happens to washed up 80's metal stars that don't end up on the Surreal Life? Wonder no longer mofo's, we look into the life of Ronnie James Dio right outta the gate. Here's what else is in the mix:
--Dio can't pay his bill.
--Bad teeth is not all that matters, where's my apology.
--Tonight on Fox news, how to rape children on myspace.
--Karma is a bitch isn't it N*sync fans.
--Scientology on the show yet again, well, when we don't like something we make sure you know about it.
--Tinky's got a gun, Tinky's got a gun, the whole world's come undone, he looked and stared at the sun.
--Alright, the underwear thing, it was funny the first 49 times.
--Barry Bonds + Bra = hatered
--That pitcher is totally a wall H4x0r.
--An old segment is revived for some odd reason.
Aight nekkas, we have a phone number, you can call it. You should also leave a message for us:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat -- W.W.C.D.

Sun, 9 Apr 2006 08:50:00 GMT

We should sign up to be one of those American Inventor pricks, I made me a product you folks will not believe. Anywho, has anyone seen those W.W.J.D. bracelets? Well, we don't have any of those things but we do have a new game to play, and it explains this weeks title. In the mix:
--Winter's morn, we need to patent this shit!
--Drinking and stinking.
--Clerks II and a fat peice of poo.
--An interessting way to hear wedding bells.
--The secret lives of Mr. Mallrat.
--A huge penis, a vibrating toothbrush and some other random shit.
--Kidnappings, Peabody awards and more f'n reality shows oh my!
--We look into the inner sanctum of the CRZA.
Give us a call, one week left to guess how tiny Mallrat's prick is:
(206)666-6325
Unitl Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat -- 70+

Thu, 6 Apr 2006 01:44:00 GMT

What's up maggots. If you had the chance to eliminate any three creatures from existance what would they be? Well wether you wanna know or not we share ours and trust us, it's in true Militia fashion to say the least. In the mix for this hyper active mega mongoloid wacky Wednesday packed episode:
--Ash9 writes his first ever skit, and it fails miserably.
--Like short bus special.
--Snake is a lot like life, WTF is snake?
--Japan gets tv on their cell phones and mine barely worked up until two weeks ago.
--Buzz air, the coolest ring this side of a camel and getting a tan while on you pc.
--Gay cowboys who love to eat pudding, Chris Farley returns...kinda, F Stern, and some other Hollywood bullshit.
--All kinds of random crap as we go through our Militia world ranked game.
Word suckas, give us a call with your answeres to our match game questions or if yout think cotton candy is tasty. Oh yea...
here's the number:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Powdered balls.

Sun, 2 Apr 2006 07:55:00 GMT

Have you ever powdered your nuts? Well, one of us does frequently. Can you guess which one of us does? We reveal this mystery and the mystery of the monkey spoon, all in this episode. In the mix:
--Ftr's unsolved mysteries.
--Mallrat loves to sing.
--Bra shows his age!
--Ash IX.
--We called it... Gnomeo and Juliet.
--Tide is a bunch of good sports.
--Dodgeball, Flashers, and Howard Cosell oh my.
--Dear 18 year old father, dance on her lawn when you realize it's not yours.
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Until Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Another bad day.

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 02:46:00 GMT

Here it is folks, not sure if your ready but we are doing two shows a week and this is the first of our mid week shows. It's a fun one, in the mix:
--Fleshlight in the house.
--The Mail ninja.
--Countdown to lockdown, when will it end?
--Damn that's an ugly baby, Alienware what are you thinking? Dell, why Dell!
--A damn good sperm donor.
--It depends, is it a retard with boobs?
--Who called it, Chef got slaughtered!
--It does kinda hide the Joan of arc haircut.
--We mess with people in Pwned by Off-Beat.
--An Off-Beat favorite with a new touch... alightning round.
--Mallrat lies about masturbation.
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- The rise of Cornflake.

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 07:58:00 GMT

Yeah mother F'ers, show number one in a two show week. We bring the thunder like none other. In the mix:
--State of the union.
--What up what up, Cornflake.
--That's what super glue is for.
--V for Vagina.
--Subtitles for the black man, what's up with that?
--A craptastic In the news.
--An elderly methamphetamine lab.
--Plasma pong
--Lotsa whitebread in the house.
Check your shit on Wednesday as we are doing another episode this week, straight to your face.
Call us with your guess on Mallrat's cock size:
(206)666-6325
Until we meet again, DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Life and Death X.X

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 06:58:00 GMT

What's up fuckers, I have a daughter!! On top of that we bring the goods this week!! And as an added bonus I use a ton of exclamation points in the show notes!! In the mix this week:
--You gotta have a montage.
--Congratuations lucky listener.
--We promise two shows a week.
--Urban Maternity, we patented that shit don't touch it!
--F-Isaac Hayes
--He's not really dead.
--But no seriously, he really was Chewbacca, F-you geek we know it was him!!
--Old Speckled Hen
--What a poon fainting, you got what you deserved.
--Run Mexican run.
--Ash's Hoboisms include;
-----Xbox and Sony merging.
-----Kill yourself a President.
Give us a call assholes,
(206)666-6325
Or email us:
Off-Beat
Until we meet again!
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Quantity not quality.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 08:06:00 GMT

Hey folks, hope this isn't your first listen. We try some new stuff called Five with a fan, we talk about Bond and Angry Pirate sits in. In the mix:
--Zim translater.
--Moshing is GAY.
--The Notorious B.I.G. over Elvis? What is this world coming to.
--WTF is the IBuzz.
--Pa represent.
--Tipping and female revolutionaries.
--More kegs, wow we like beer.
--Blonde Bond revisited.
--Thanks Trigger, now Mallrat has a complex and hums your song everywhere he goes. But listen to it at the end here.
Prolly no show next week, sorry. Please keep the hate mail to a minimum, my wife is giving birth for God's sake. If you must send hatemail, send it to Mallrat
Call us:(206)666-6325.
Catch you guys soon.
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Joe Strummer DiBenedetto

Sun, 5 Mar 2006 07:58:00 GMT

Ya suckers, so much fun so little time!! We went a little bit nuts on this episode, we had to cut some scheduled segments as we drank a ton and rambled alot. Also we have a very special guest in the studio, you asked and you shall receive. In the mix this week:
--Who will be the Godfather?
--Gwen's little powder sniffer..
--Place you bets.
--Who the f**k would blow Keith Richards?
--F Disney, They are the root of all evil.
--Indians and the white man get along!
--A new found hope in East Hartford.
--Another screaming Asian with eels.
--Party keg in the house part 2.
--FTR revisits Hollywood.
--Zim eats some un-baked goods.
--Bra cleans house.
Call us if you'd like and sing us a song.
(206)666-6325
Until next week
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- What do you look for in a woman?

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 07:40:00 GMT

Welcome back a-holes! There is a fun one in store for you!! Two, yes two, count 'em, bottle or boxes. Zim whines, the Miltia cheers and you the listener benefit! In the mix this week:
--Fun with editing
--More guesses about down below.
--Mallrat whines about rising condom prices.
--Zim's first bottle.
--Almost as bad as pornography.
--Blow jobs, Big boobed celebrities and the Militia drools.
--Mallrat cries fowl, and whines some more.
--Hibernian in the house.
--Lottery winners are gay.
--Beans in the box.
Call us with your guess for Mallrat's penis size:
(206)666-6325 Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Whipped!

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 07:34:00 GMT

What the hell is going on here today? We are missing two Militia members, CRZA and Mallrat admit some crazy shit, we drank out of a keg and listened to porno. What more could you ask for out of a show? In the mix this week:
--Zim and Bra's excuses.
--Walken appears.
--Mallrat shares his sexual woes already.
--CRZA and Mallrat want to fuck Joe Strummer.
--DBOTM update.
--We rag on celebrities, god that's fun.
--Keg in the house mother F'er.
--Is your shakra in line?
--Can you guess their race? Bonus points for the member that made it!!
--Where the hell is this guy from, fax machine?
--Post script, stick around.
Call us with what you think Mallrats cock size is, (206)666-6325
Thanks for checking us out, tell your friends or we'll mail you anthrax.
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Virginity begone!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 12 Feb 2006 07:30:00 GMT

It slices it dices it juliannes. It's a celebration people, Mallrat has lost his virginity, yes you read that right, Mallrat has lost his virginity. In the mix this week:
--Leave it to Beavis take 2
--Fan of the week, you know you wanna be it!
--Mallrat shots and scores in all four quarters.
--Douche baggery at it's best.
--Hey, it has less calories than a cup of skim milk.
--CRZA spills his guts and the Militia is in awe.
--Wasabi and coffee beans = nasty!
--Jesus on your pancakes and in the kitchen with the Militia.
--In San Francisco it is illegal to...
Call us:
(206)666-6325 BUY A SCREENED TEE SHIRT,
Click here!
We <3 you all, now show us your tits!

Off-Beat -- Zim appreciation day.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 5 Feb 2006 08:19:00 GMT

It's an interessting one folks, will the real Zim Ashe please stand up. Mallrat has no voice, Zim triples the pleasure, and some 8 year old is still breast feeding! In the mix this week;
--Will the real Zim Ashe please stand up.
--Off-Beat's first chart topping hit.
--Reality shows suck ass.
--Car wrecks are fun, umm, maybe not.
--A long ass FTR Militia that results in a debate.
--Some dude eats his feces to cover up his alcoholism.
--We drink various beers.
--Have you looked at your own shit, some of us have.
--Breast feeding til 9 years old.
--137 wings.
--No idea about video games.
Call us (206)666-6325
Buy a T-shirt, it really will help out our show.
And boycott Podcast Alley cause it's gay!
Until next week,
DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- As American as apple pie.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 09:04:00 GMT

It slices, it dices, it brings grown men to the verge of tears. In this episode Zim faces a tough challenge, Mallrat gets all three answers and Ash reeks of ganja. All will be revealed should you choose to listen! In the mix:
--A racist prick.
--Novus Dae in the monologue.
--What up what up returns, unfortunately.
--The Green Lanterns have succeeded.
--An un-effective marketing plan.
--Why we named the show what we named it.
--Drinking and driving is fun, especially while driving a bloodmobile.
--The answer to a British girls question.
--The Chaotic new beer of the week segment!
--Militia at the movies!
--The life of a couch potato.
--Mr. T puts his pity on you!
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Email us your guess on how small Mallrat's unit.
Until next week M f'ers,
DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Vampires suck!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 08:49:00 GMT

Hey all, welcome to the new format for Off-Beat. Our sponsers have spoken and we have listened. Hopefully you guys dig what we are doing and to our old fans, I hope you continue to listen as we value you as much as Martin (Mallrat) values his family. Welcome to the new begining!
--We speak of unions.
--We smoke some Cuban cigars.
--And to finish the show we drink some red wines!
Until next week,
~~Jay!

Off-Beat -- We <3 Bacon!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 08:26:00 GMT

What's up everyone, interessting show as always, starts off seriously but quickly returns to the immaturaty our loyal listeners are used to. In the mix:
--Bacon on my mind.
--The lanterns failed Zim, again.
--Sumbody's return!
--Mallrat's gracefullness is like a garbage can in the wind.
--Jessica Simpson deserved it!
--Horror movies as of late suck!
--Blacklisted because of the first ammendment.
--High school reunions and wretched assholes!
--Sleeping with a mute.
--Calling office mates fat bitches.
--Beer for D and D dorks.
--Black White or Asian's triumphant return.
--Nude news and passing the breath-a-lizer!
Call us (206)666-6325
Guess how big Mallrat's tool is and then join our discussion on our love of bacon.
Until we meet again,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat -- Gleaming the podcast!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 8 Jan 2006 08:54:00 GMT

Hey, here for your consumption is an episode worthy of coming out of your colon. We talk endlessly about movies, play some games, dish out some advice and then shit on your chest, just like your step-dad while your sleeping. In the mix:
--The retraction.
--Hackers are gay.
--Die Uwe Boll.
--Does Teen wolf hold up?
--Building the perfect woman.
--Dirty Dicks get voted off the island.
--Guilty pleasure, small weiners and rebutals.
--Perverts and lucky men.
--How many cranks does it take to tire Mallrat.
--Bumper dumpers and fucking your computer.
You know the drill: Call us (206)666-6325 Vote for us on Podcast alley even though it's gay! Until next week,
DeadSqwirl X.x

WOOOOO DRINKING!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 1 Jan 2006 07:49:00 GMT

It's new year's and the Militia is fucking wrecked. Listen to our show or Mallrat will puke in the back seat of your car. Season 2 next week fuckers!

Why'd you fill my stocking with hate?

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 17:21:00 GMT

Merry Kwanzaa or was it Chanuka, well whatever your vice, have a good one. We figured we'd give you the present your parents wouldn't want you to have, a special episode filled with spite! Hey at least it's better than a fruitcake! In the mix mother fuckers:
--Story time with Dead.
--Santa's got a present for Zim.
--Zim's holiday getaway.
--The dangers of eating KFC.
--Someone send Gwen a hanger...quick.
--CRZA explains to us why he doesn't have a girlfriend.
--We talk about horrible Hollywood.
--Embezzeling is fun.
--Rotating co-hosts.
--Legless at Christmas.
Vote for us on Podcast Alley
Call us (206)666-6325
Until next week, ~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat episode 30 -- Welcome to the midget rodeo!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 18 Dec 2005 07:37:00 GMT

Sup suckas, welcome to the chaos that is episode 30. This sunday sunday sunday, beer will be consumed, midgets will wear clown suits, and Zim will hate Mallrat!! In the mix for this week:
--FTR hotline.
--Dead signs a pact with the devil
--Sugary delights.
--Get over it Mallrat, it's only 50 cents.
--God I hate Paris Hilton!
--We finally got a hold of this beer!
--Don't let her get off first.
--A Heart attack on a bun.
--A total Springer moment.
--Art Asylum contest.
--Tell her you love her by telling her about your V.D. after you bang her.
--Binacatoe.
--Some dumb hurt d00d.
--What type of sexual deviant are you?
--10th graders, Drunk bitches, and drive-bys.
Vote for us on Podcast alley.
Call our Voicemail (206)666-6325.
And enter our contest.
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat episode 29 -- Handhelds and watermelons.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 11 Dec 2005 08:33:00 GMT

Hey folks, it's time for 29. Mallrat is marching on the gay pride parade so we had to replace him for the week. If you see them on the news, Mallrat is the one wearing the pink assless chaps. Jay form Down with the scene sat in this week. In the mix:
--Creative commons.
--The lightning round.
--Forcing the hand.
--Inserting fruit where it doesn't belong.
--Scratchtastic.
--A totally average beer.
--Art Asylum contest.
--Ashamed of music?
--How do you wanna die.
--Dykes on bikes.
--Yarnball's revenge.
--Mallrat's prank.
CALL US (206)666-6325
VOTE FOR US ON PODCAST ALLEY
AND ENTER OUR CONTEST
Until next week DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat episode 28 -- And then there was five! :(

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 4 Dec 2005 06:33:00 GMT

Hey all, we hath returned, well almost all of us. Bra got run over this morning, so he won't be joining us anymore. We got some fun stuff including kids falling down the stairs, a bunch of asshole trying to guess movie clips and a British broad who should bomb herself!
--The deflower foundation.
--Merry fuckin' Christmas.
--Zim's pussy ward rates high on the dork-o-meter.
--Bomb yourself bitch.
--Toby, toby, toby.
--An Art Asylum contest
--A child falls down the stairs and Dead loves every second of it!
--Naked guys unloading their clips.
--Some crappy movie clips.
--Please spell check your shit, please.
--Dead's drunk and can't read Hunter's joke.
--Blue tooth technology.
--Random girl pissing.
If anyone has a fat chick tied up in their basement, or you are a fat chick please bang Mikelite, we really want to hear it.
(206)666-6325
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

Off-Beat episode 27 -- Bad cooks and big boners!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 05:06:00 GMT

Hey all, episode 27 is here and it's not queer. Cavs returns from New Jersey to join us on the show. We bring back Black White or Asian, we do some news, talk of the 360 and nominate our king douche bag this month!
--Learn how to cook bitch
--We talk about Zim's pshychosis while listening to Useless.
--The 360 induces riots!
--Our marketing ploy
--Jack Thompson you mother fucker! Do something good for humanity, like feed yourself to a shark.
--Santa craps in a barrel.
--Blind whores with huge boobs!
--Poor battered Skittles.
--Someone else has a crazy mom also, holy crap.
--You know your gay if...
--Tom Cruise's sonogram.
--A coked up deer gets tranquilized.
--Orgasms are fun.
--In our pouch of mail.

CALL US (206)666-6325
until next week,
~Deadsqwirl x.X

Off-Beat episode 26 -- Crickets and Calves

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 20 Nov 2005 09:07:00 GMT

Interessting evening, we drank a bunch, we made Zim eat crickets and mealworms, We talk about all kinds of random shit from our lives and end the show in true Off-Beat fashion with a new bit. Included in the rowdiness is:
--Donating to out dreams.
-- Sometimes she burns!
--Off-Beat's first award.
--D&D Dorks will rejoice with this one.
--Poking people with sticks is funny.
--Piss and soap.
--Freddy Kreuger box.
--Mallrat's soul mate, let's just say she enjoys crying herself to sleep too!
--Roast beef stink, with a copper taste.
--More sticks poking things.
--Those wacky Iraqi's.
--More news, but we go astray, as usual.
--Moans, groans and the Militia guesses.
--Some rediculous rambling.
CALL US -- (206)666(the NUMBER of the BEASSSSSTTTTT!)-6325. Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 25 -- Celebrations abound!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:41:00 GMT

Hola chicas. It's time for a real long episode of Off-Beat. This episode really tugs at the heart strings, Ok, maybe not. In true FTR fashion we bring the fun. We attack everything from chat rooms to our favorite things from the past 24 episodes. Alright enough of my yapping, here's the show notes:
--Red carpet rampage.
--Zim loves to *BLEEP*.
--Voicemail plug (206)666-6325.
--The weather for today looks Black.
--DRINK BITCH.
--My toupee is falling off.
--Only retards like chat rooms.
--Ugly vaginas.
--Blow jobs on dummies.
--Enemas and thick pricks.
--selling the stabbing.
--Take some time, if you had the chance, would you kill him?
--Bitches, bribery and cell phones.
--Some sentimentality, (probably spelled wrong, but you get the point.)
--Take a stroll down memory lane.
Laters, DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 24 -- Deportation and dysentery

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 7 Nov 2005 02:56:00 GMT

Here it is folks, an episode one of you have been waiting for. Sorry it didn't go up on Saturday like normal, I was beat and figured our 5 listeners could wait a bit. Any way we have a rowdy show as usual for your auditory canal, it includes:
--Zimmy's little secret.
--A fallen rocker.
--Some chaos over CT.
--King kong goes 360.
--Sony loves cheaters.
--Mexicans in a Honda.
--Images of your first.
--Ash9 ends his campaign on a whimper.
--This part will keep you glued to your seat, lterally.
--A team that should never be.
--A necklace of human thumbs.
--Children's books written by douche bags.
--CRZA revisits the past.
--Our plea for Power Ranger costumes.

Off-Beat episode 23 -- Sex talk, tweezers and redneck beatings.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 02:21:00 GMT

Here it is for listening enjoyment, it's episode 23! Make sure to check out our exclusive Halloween episode on www.fortherecord.ws. In the mix for 23: --The Porno files!
--50 something pounds of porno.
--PSP un-breakable.
--6 bucks down the drain.
--Skirts belong in the kitchen.
--Bottle or box, make the call Zim!
--Presidente gets thrown out of power.
--The meat market.
--Do I have the right number.
--We still hate 50 cent.
--The opressive boot of Santa.
--How to punish your penis.
--Handlebars... meet crotch.
Until next week fuckers!
~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 22 -- Jerk-off's and jumpsuits

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 23 Oct 2005 06:53:00 GMT

Howdy folks, it's episode 22. Suprised we made it this far? Well we definately are. We got some fun stuff in true Off-Beat fashion this show and it contains:
--Dead's scarf.
--Zim and Dead piss on Canada and PA.
--Google crap and 50 cent.
--Mosh pits, the Green lantern and more.
--Peckers and parking lots.
--Sink scum.
--Your Mayor speaks... again!
--A spooky bevarage.
--give me oral anyday.
--Some cracked out whore figured out how to use email!
--Buy us an Elvis jumpsuit or a few! We will put them to good use.
Tune in next week, or CRZA will post pics of his batwings.

Off-Beat episode 21 -- Publicity drives and pubes.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 06:34:00 GMT

Hello again, it's time for episode 21 in all it's rowdyness. We had some guests for this show being Angry pirate and Rusty trombone. In the mix:
--A new type of candidate.
--Blonde bond.
--Bea Arthur is a transvestite.
--Masturbation abound.
--Two Cows.
--A wrinkly old noodle.
--More out of your mayor.
--A whiny bitch.
--Pubes and poop chutes.
--Take a handicap person to a matinee.
Until next week,
-DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 20 -- Bat wings and Budweiser

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 9 Oct 2005 23:53:00 GMT

What's up fuckers, we hath returned for yet another rowdy episode that consist of retards getting the death penalty, CRZA's balls and so much more than your puny little human minds can consume in one sitting. In the mix:
-- Bat wings
-- Death to the retarded gamers
-- Dakota Fanning wants some crack
-- If you never use your weiner does it really exist?
-- We drink an american classic
-- Zim admits some crap
-- More than one child to keep the majority
-- The flying spaghetti monster
-- More of Paris' mudflaps
Later bitches!!

Off-Beat episode 19 -- Black boxes and manila envelopes!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sat, 1 Oct 2005 15:06:00 GMT

Hey foo's, Off-Beat returns! Another rowdy show for you folks. The Militia shares it's twisted love stories and Crza wants to slap a fat broad in the face! In the mix:
-Side effects of tabasco consumption
-Budweiser sponsorship
-Zim tells another story about him getting hurt, he is officially the Johnny Knoxville of this show.
-Off-Beat in love
-An O.K. beer
-The ultimate fuck you!!
-A smelly pussy
-Fat broads anger Dr.D
-For your enjoyment... Zim bloopers!

we'll catch you next week!

Off-Beat episode 18 -- Metal yells and old woman where they belong!

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 26 Sep 2005 02:41:00 GMT

Wow, what a weekend. Zim drank tabasco, the Militia got retardly drunk, and Sqwirl deleted the original episode 18 because there was nothing there to be salvaged. In the mix this week:
--The suburban choir.
--So metal it hurts.
--Off with his balls.
--I hate you so much.
--Old ladys in trash cans.
--If I were a rich boy.
--Wedding tapes and hatred for your mother.
--Keep your kids outta my mall!

Off-Beat episode 17 -- Gaping holes and handicapped cheerleaders

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 04:57:00 GMT

It's episode 17 complete with ethnic slurs abound!!
-Paris' huge hole
-Bears on the beer
-Dr D. wants to slap you!
-Dreams of Ash's ass
-Dead cats in your gas tank
-Dog biscuits and abacus'
-10 year olds should jump off a roof
-Pirates, retards and shaving your upper lip

Off-Beat episode 16 -- Trailer parks and tongue-in the bottle.

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Sun, 11 Sep 2005 05:06:00 GMT

In the mix this week-
Mallrats virginity at stake.
Rogue ale.
Bad cds and thinking of you.
Bush super imposed.
Some dumb skank.
Power ranger costumes and other random shit!

Off-Beat episode 15 -- Auctions and office pools

Deadsqwirl@fortherecord.ws — Mon, 5 Sep 2005 04:38:00 GMT

In episode 15- Crap in a box
Hurricane Cuntrina
Mallrat's virginity
Kelley's apples
Douch Baggery in full effect
Meatwad stops by
New bit, Mind of the Militia
Stabbings and strippers
Missed turns on favorites.

Off-Beat episode 14 -- Good sports and mediocracy

Deadsqwirl@gmail.com — Mon, 29 Aug 2005 04:55:00 GMT

--In the mix for this show!
Dio, bow down mother f'ers.
The true definiton of hate.
FTR's extreme makeover.
the tie breaker.
an average beer.
Fetus' and seagulls.
and some faves of ours.

Off-Beat episode 13 -- Depression and dick teasing

Deadsqwirl@gmail.com — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 05:11:00 GMT

In this episode:
Get to know the Militia
Old Peculiar and perfect ten
drowning while fishing
Showing favorites and blowing a load that will knock over a cat
our first censored segment!
Until next week...

Hey Trolls, we now have forums...

Deadsqwirl@gmail.com — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:43:00 GMT

Go there and brag about how big your cock is!

Off-Beat episode 12 -- Pocket pussies and Palestinians

Deadsqwirl@gmail.com — Sun, 14 Aug 2005 05:34:00 GMT

This show includes:
-Produciton value, an exclusive to Off-Beat
(Thanks JVonD for the advice)
-Beer of the Week
Milwaukee's Best
-In The News
Disaster and golf
Offing your wife
Stealing from children
-Showing favorites

Off-Beat episode 11 -- Zombies with a side of roast beef

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Sun, 7 Aug 2005 05:00:00 GMT

In this episode:
Chris Cavs, from The Martini Shot,
Zombie the Rock opera. In the News / Dukes released and lots of Roast beef.
Beer of the week
Showing Favorites makes it's triumphant return.
Off-Beat on myspace Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 10 -- Novus Dae and not swallowing

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Mon, 1 Aug 2005 04:36:00 GMT

  Well, we are excited, 10! We also got an exclusive, it's an acoustic track from Novus Dae. Ryan and Ryan stopped by and recorded a brand new track called 211. It's totaly tits!

  This episode we also dish out our coveted douche bag of the month award. We aren't gonna give away the suprise.

  Sorry showing favorites took a break this week but will return next week. Sorry showing favorites fans. Thanks, tune in next week as our guest will be Chris "Cav's" from the Martini shot.

P.S. keep the comments coming, or skype us a radio spot, we'll use it.
~DeadSqwirl

Off-Beat episode 9 -- GTA and immigrants

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:56:00 GMT

  Even though our site is down for the moment, the show must go on. Episode 9 already, god time goes by while your having fun.
  If you have any heart, boycott Just like Heaven, they should hand out barf bags at the screenings cause your gonna need them. Anywho thanks for listening as always, and make sure to subscribe to our show through maybe Itunes, our new favorite subsciption method is Odeo, definately check them out.
  For a good time take a shot everytime Mallrat says the word mount in his flat tire story, good times.

Cool little podcasting site...

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Jul 2005 05:01:00 GMT

Heya all,
Just letting ya know about this cool site that manages podcast subscriptions you should check out. They just opened but it has some sweet features Odeo.

Ok now I'm done, you may go back to your boring old lives!

Off-Beat episode 8 -- Announcements and nudes

mallrat6996@yahoo.com — Mon, 18 Jul 2005 03:56:00 GMT

Hey folks, welcome to episode 8, sorry about the sound quality in the begining half. We have everyone mic'ed now and it's new for me. I apologize.

anyway here's some show notes links:
For the record
Sam Adams the drink of FTR
Off-Beat Podcast.

Hey Thanks to our subscribers, and all of you for listening. Catch you all next week! My Odeo Channel

Off-Beat episode 7 -- Tennis balls and 12 year olds

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Sun, 10 Jul 2005 06:10:00 GMT

Hey all,

episode 7 is up in this beeatch for your consumption. Zim has returned from wrestling some crocs and sword fighting some pirates. Ok, he was just slapping the bishop, we all know what was up Zim, don't try and cover it up.

Well, if you guys can't get enough we've opened a myspace account, Off-Beat. Join us in our crusade to put a KFC all you can eat buffet outta buisness by being our virtual frined cause you really don't want to meet us in person.

Off-Beat episode 6 -- Bad broads and coffee

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Mon, 4 Jul 2005 04:48:00 GMT

Here are some links we speak of in episode 6:
Victory Records
Novus Dae
I Tunes

Included in this show...some ranting and raving, as usual. Some issues we cover, Flag burning, new Itunes, and the Dukes of Hazzard / Moonrunners.

Anyway people, happy fourth! Drink up, we are! Send us your favorites and some drinking stories through email or skype us! Until next week, later our two listeners!

Off-Beat episode 5 -- Mid-evil haircuts and astronauts

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 05:56:00 GMT

We have recorded yet another show, we are starting to like this! If we weren't so lazy we would probably be inclined to record everyday.

Episode 5 includes a special guest to the FTR minions cast, we should really make some FTR Minion's baseball jerseys, now that would be cool. Unseen Problem joins the cast this episode to dish out the douche bag of the month award.

Alright people,please, please, PLEASE, send us an email including some questions, in Wav. or MP# format that we can use on the show, or send us your favorites, we would love to hear from you. Until then, we give you episode 5!

Off-Beat episode 4 -- Atlantic City and lesbians

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:54:00 GMT

To Angry Pirate, thanks for all the good comments. It's great to see we've at least touched one person, your check is in the mail! Now make sure the feedback builds our egos up more this time!

Some of you are probably wondering what happend to episode 3. We (I) originally recorded an episode of Off-Beat as a flash file which is essentially episode 1. So the whole time we have been lying to you, our 4 listeners, get over it!

Anywho, celebrate as episode 4 is availible now for download, and it's totally free, (for you the listener, us we are paying to host this shit!)

And in honor of our drunken weekend we are urging you, our faithfull listener, to send us in a wav, mp3, or text file of your favorite drunken story to be broadcast on our show to:
DeadSqwirl

We now have a hotline...

DeadSqwirl@gmail.com — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 19:00:42 GMT

Hey bitches, hot off the release of episode 2, we have opened a skype hotline for you to call. Leave us your 3 things for showing favorites and you may be on our show, how fucking cool is that? There is a voicemail system set up in skype that you can use to leave your wav files. Skype is a free internet telephone service, if you don't have it, I suggest getting it, it rocks. Skype . The hotline is at TheDeadSqwirl, call us up and after 4 rings our voicemail should pick up. Thanks, The Off-Beat cast Ps, sometimes some people cant hear the voicemessage. Not sure why, but if it picks up and I do not respond, just talk away, you are being recorded!